Can Divorce be Civil?

The Holistic Law Group understands that divorce is a difficult time even if the level of conflict is low.  In marriages where the conflict was -- or still is -- high, divorce seems like a wakeful nightmare. 

Couples decide to marry for lots of different reasons.  Divorce has just as many motivations.   Some wounds are too deep to heal at this time.  Some relationships bring out the worst in one or both partners.  And sometimes two people just take different paths and they recognize, often very painfully, that it is time to part ways and wish each other well on the next steps of their life journeys.  As the relationship ends, all the hopes and dreams of the relationship die with it.  It is a period of extreme grief and self-doubt.

For most people, the process of finding agreement is the biggest challenge in the divorce.  Strong emotions often get in the way of making thoughtful and necessary decisions.  The end of what had seemed like a "good decision," is frequently marred by bitterness, anger, and betrayal.  Both sadness and rage will make communication futile, if not impossible .  Moreover, most people have a hard time seeing that any agreement will allows both people to move on and be "o.k."

It is so very important for the divorcing couple to take charge of the details of their divorce, because the alternative is rarely satisfying.  Does anyone really want a stranger, in a black robe and on a bench, making the decisions?  

Some think that there is no possibility of working anything out ever again.  However, if children are entering the divorce as well, the parents must define a working relationship.  The failure to be "the grown-ups" in a divorce results in direct harm to everyone:  the parents and the children.  Even if the couple has no children, they likely shared friends, family, and a community.  

In essence, divorce is an official proclamation that a marriage has ended.  For the vast majority of couples, their marriage ends by way of contract -- specifically a "Separation Agreement."  This agreement spells out the division of marital property, child support and parenting time, and other issues, generally related to assets.

The Holistic Law Group uses conflict resolution and coaching tools to help couples, or individuals who wish to approach their soon-to-be ex-spouse, reasonable and workable agreements.  These agreements both bring closure to the marriage and a look to the future.

In many cases, the Holistic Law Group will enlist the help of professionals from other disciplines--therapists, child specialists, financial experts -- to assist the process.  The Holistic Law Group's commitment to each client is to help each client define his or her needs rather than make unrealistic demands.  The goal is to help create a win-win solution for all.

Comments?

Wouldn't getting divorced in this way be better for all involved?  Can you think of any problems with approaching divorce in this way?  Please share your thoughts in the comments below.