Recently, I have been working with a clients whose personal stories are emotionally traumatic. Both from the perspective of any compassionate human but also, more existentially, to the person who's telling it. Details emerge about trauma suffered at the hands of a sexually-abusing spouse, of a prison guard, of a father deserting his children. Really ugly events left to stew in the minds of those victimized.
My clients frequently say, "I'm sorry to unload this on you." My response, "Don't be." And, I mean it. If a lawyer cannot do the hard work of being both an attorney and counsellor at law, then she should get out of the business. Clients, while interested in sage legal advice, want to be heard emotionally.
Clients need to be able to trust their chosen advocate with the ugliness of their pasts.
The only way for this trust to authentically germinate demands the emotional risk a lawyer must take to be "present" with the client. This risk-taking need to happen before the client arrives for the initial consultation. Extra time needs to be put aside in the estimated "hour" to accommodate not only the "get-to-know-you" small talk but also the "you-may-unload-that-on-me" discussion.
Be advised: A generous and compassionate heart will result in more time, better trust, and a more meaningful lawyer-client relationship. Clients deserve emotional connections to their lawyers.
Comments?
Is it important for you to have emotional chemistry with your attorney?
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